[I WAS GOING TO POST THIS ON LIVEJOURNAL BUT IT IS DOWN RIGHT NOW, I WILL POST THIS TO MY OFFICIAL JOURNAL LATER...]
So, for some of you this may not be as big of a shock as for others. For
most of you, I'm sure you can't really understand my reasoning behind
this but I will go into detail anyway just so that I am clear that I tried my best to get it across.
The end of this summer will mark the end of my relationship with Dramas.
In
fact, starting now--today--it's pretty much over. All we have are some
loose ends to tie up. In other words I will be watching/finishing two
dramas and two dramas only: Big and either Arang OR Faith. I haven't decided yet which one will be better.
And
just to get this out there: No, this was not planned and no, I do not
suddenly hate dramas. Yes, I went on a drama hiatus about two weeks ago
and it was supposed to be temporary. I did not imagine I would make it
(mostly) permanent.
In all honesty, I never really imagined giving up dramas...ever. I'm not even sure I know how to explain this.
Over
the last few months my perspective has dramatically changed. Although
the events that have brought this about have been tragic, the outcome is
what counts. And that outcome is that I now have a much clearer
understanding on what is--and is not--important in life.
That's
not to say that some of the unimportant stuff is bad. Like dramas (which
I would say are extremely low on the importance chain). I don't
consider them bad at all and they are, in and of themselves, much better
than most of the television out there and mostly harmless. But like
most things, it's not what it is made of that makes it unhealthy or bad,
it's what you do with it.
I don't just casually watch
dramas. In fact, I don't even think I could if I really tried to. Why?
Because they are a continuous story. You don't just sit down for one or
two hours a week, watch it, and then move on with your life. Each show
takes up hours. Not only that, but it takes up hours of thinking
time too--especially if you watch more than one at a time. I used to
look at this as, "Eh. Whatever, if I had something better to do, I'd do
it...but alas look at all this free time..."
And, honestly? I
still have all that free time and nothing to fill it. I don't want to
just kick out dramas only to fill their spot with something else. What that means, even I am not too sure yet. I'm still figuring that part out.
What
I do know is, were I to even put limits on myself with dramas (for
example, only one episode a night or even one episode a week) it will be
just as bad. I will think about them even more. I will look
forward to the time I get to watch a new episode more than I look
forward to anything else. As it was, dramas defined me. And that is a bad thing. That is the shell I am going to break. I want to be defined by something meaningful and not something temporary.
And when I say break, I mean it. No more Dramabeans. No more A Koala's Playground. I'm even going to go so far as to ask people not to talk about dramas with me if they can help it.
I don't mean you have to be all anxious every time dramas get brought
up in a conversation. Especially if it is just a reference to something
here and there, or if you want to just describe this hilarious scene or
that really cute moment, etc. etc. Just no in-depth conversations.
Although I am more than happy to discuss dramas I've already
seen. It's just that, if everyone around me is talking about this new
show or that, can you imagine how hard it will be for me to not watch
it?
Because the truth is: I still love dramas. I still want to watch dramas.
I
hope I can get to a point in my life some day where I can just sit down
and watch a show, and move on. And not want to watch more. And not
think about it. Maybe I will even watch the occasional drama here and
there if I'm watching it with friends. Maybe. But for right now, I see
my future with dramas as no dramas.
I also wanted to clear this
up: I am not going to judge anyone because they are watching dramas and
I'm not now. I'm not going to go around thinking, "Oh, look who still
watches dramas. How pathetic." Not at all. This is a personal
decision. If you don't feel like dramas are unhealthy for you, that's
awesome. If you (honestly) want my personal opinion on whether or not I think
they are, or why I think it matters, I'll tell you. But only if you
want, and not out of bitterness or grumpiness. As for me, I don't want
to keep asking myself, "Is this important? Does this have a purpose for
me? Will this be useful for my life?" And keep coming up with negative
answers. I want to be positive, and I want my life to reflect that.
As a final note: this does not mean I won't watch movies. I'm still so on for movies.
So that's it!